Lyrics
I Love Me (I’m Wild About Myself)
Oh, You’re the one I care for
You are the one and therefore
I know you care for me
When people write their songs of love
They write of one another
It’s always sis or mom or pa
Or even one lone brother
But love songs that they’ve aimed at me
Have all gone on the shelf
I don’t think that is fair,
So I’ll write one of myself!
Oh, I Love Me
I Love Me
I’m wild about myself!
I Love Me
I Love Me
Me picture’s on my shelf!
You may not think me looks so good
but me thinks I look fine
It’s grand when I look in the glass
and know that I’m all mine!
I Love Me
I Love Me
And my love doesn’t bore
Day by day
And every way
I love’s me more and more
I take me to a quiet place
I put me arms around me waist
If me gets fresh me slaps me face
I’m wild about myself!
Nobody
And I am full of nothin’ and pain
Who soothes my thumping, bumping brain?
Nobody
When winter comes with snow and sleet
And me with hunger and cold feet
Who says, “Here’s twenty-five cents, go ahead and get somethin’
To eat?”
Nobody
I ain’t never done nothin’ to nobody
I ain’t never done nothin’ to nobody, no time
So until I get somethin’ from somebody sometime
I’ll never do nothin’ for nobody, no time
When summer comes all cool and clear
And my friends see me drawing near
Who says “Come in, have some beer”
Nobody
When I was in that railroad wreck
And thought I’d cashed in my last check
Who took the engine off my neck?
Not a soul
I ain’t never done nothin’ to nobody, no time
Until I get somethin’ from somebody sometime
I’ll never do nothin’ for nobody, no time
He Goes to Church on Sunday
I knew a very wicked man,
I knew him as a lad.
I never met his equal telling lies
And though he takes delight in doing everything that’s bad,
He thinks he’ll go to heaven when he dies
When but a child he robbed his dear old grandma in her sleep
He stole six golden teeth right from her jaw,
He’s been a kleptomaniac since he began to creep
But the neighbors think he’s alright because:
He goes to church on Sunday
He passes around the contribution box
But meet him in the office on a Monday
He’s as crooked and as cunning as a fox
On Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday
Friday Saturday
He’s robbing everybody that he can
But he goes to church on Sunday
So they say that he’s an honest man
I always thought my family doctor honest as can be
Until I had a pain the other day
He said You have appendicitis I can plainly see
You need an operation right away
He charged $300 for that operation then
He found I only had a stomach ache
He left his scissors in me when he sowed me up again
And then he marked me “Opened by Mistake”
But he goes to church on Sunday
He passes round the contribution box
But meet him in the office on a Monday
He is a crooked and as cunning as a fox
On Tuesday Wednesday Thursday Friday Saturday
He is robbing everybody that he can
But he goes to church on Sunday
So they say that he’s an honest man.